Our Home Gets a Face-Lift

Dear Corban,

Sometimes the best medicine for grief is to keep busy. One of the things your daddy and I have been doing to keep busy is to work on our house. We started in the kitchen. It was too small, there weren’t any doors on the cabinets and the floor in front of the sink was sinking because of water damage. 

So in mid December, Daddy and I got busy tearing out the cupboards,

 

gutting the walls,

and then removing the flooring and sub-floor.

We were able to do this with the help for a few friends and your aunts, uncles and grandparents. The week between Christmas and New Years was our busy week, installing the new tile, hanging the cupboards, and putting in the new counter top. Your aunt Andrea, Uncle JD, Daddy and Mommy all helped put in the tile. It took a full evening to do, but once it was in, it looked great! 

This was taken after we finished laying the tile.

Uncle JD helped Daddy fix all the wiring while Uncle Tony and Uncle Shelby did the math and measuring to hang the cupboards. Grandpa and Grandma Kent helped with the mudding, staining, painting and sealing of the cupboards while keeping us well fed and entertained with your cousins and their 9-month pregnant mommy, your Aunt Stephanie. Aunt Stephanie helped Mommy and Grandma put things into cupboards and decide which drawers were best for the silverware. About the time all of the finishing touches were being done, your cute little cousin, Sophie was born exactly 4 months to the day after your birthday.

Sophie Tea was born Jan 7, 2012

After Sophie was born we went back to Home Improvement phase, finishing up the final details. In mid-January we bought a fridge for half price and with the help of your uncle Shelby, Daddy was able to get it to fit through our doorway and into the space we’d left for a fridge.

A month later, Daddy started to tear out the ugly old maroon carpet in the living room as well as the stairs going up and the hallway. 

The old colors of paint in our living room were pretty crazy.

We tore down the wall paper the evening of our second day in the house. We knew it wasn't perfect yet, but it was still a lot better without the wall paper.

With some calming blue paint on the walls things look better.

I've put in some of those old pictures to show the progress of this front room. The old green paint and ugly wall paper was the first thing to go, so to finally start on things two and a half years later was long overdue. It was finally nice to start getting rid of the old carpet.

Tearing up the carpet took about 10 minutes.

Daddy swept up the staples, dust, dirt and other gunk.

Mommy helped daddy peel up the yucky carpet pad and pull staples. In the course of two evenings, Mommy helped Daddy put down some lovely new carpet. 

Daddy staples down the new carpet pad.

Our house has never looked so good.

Now you don't notice the carpet because it is the right color.

The stairs look nicer.

The hall looks nicer

The colors match.

It finally looks like a nice room

For Christmas your Grandpa and Grandma Kent gave us a beautiful curio cabinet. They gave it to us so that we could put some of your things on display to always remember you, Corban and the powerful calming spirit you have.  You are so very much a part of everything we do.

The curio makes the perfect finishing touch to the room.

We’ve also put something things into the cabinet from both Mommy and Daddy’s missions, and from your Aunt Elin’s travels in the Navy. Over the years we will add to this cabinet as we collect more memories.

Little one, we want you to know how much we miss you. We are so glad you’re a part of our family and we can’t wait for the day when we are reunited. We hope that the changes and upgrades to our home will help us keep you close to our hearts and forever in our thoughts. We live each day for you, little one.

The Holidays

Dear Little One,

The past couple months have been hard for us. We miss you so much. The hope of holding you again has helped ease a measure of the grief, helped mend our broken hearts. Still the desire to be with you remains.

For Halloween, you Mommy and Daddy carved some pumpkins. Mommy loves to draw different characters onto the pumpkins and then carve them. She’s done a lot more drawing lately since September. It brings her a little closure and helps her feel a little closer to you when she takes the time to do something creative.

Grandpa Kent had a lot of success with his pumpkins this year. He gave us a pumpkin to put at your headstone. Your cousins Jonathon and Hannah also picked out a pumpkin to place at your headstone to help decorate it for the fall season.

Grandma Kent decorated a cornucopia with little cars and things, we don’t have a picture of it to share with you right now, but it was really awesome.

Daddy welded together a new stand to hold the wind chimes that Aunt Stephanie, Jonathon, Hannah and Grandma picked out for you. The stand can also hold the flower arrangement Mommy put together.

Since Christmas is coming, we decided you needed a tree. The picture we have of that right now is a little blurry, sorry about that. We’ll have to get a better one up soon. The tree is decorated with ornaments that Grandma Kent and Aunt Stephanie provided. It also has little Christmas lights on it that light up. Your cousin Hannah especially likes this feature. 

Grandma Kent also got a Santa that lights up and some solar lights that look like candy canes. I don’t have pictures of those yet either, but maybe I can get to that soon.

Corban, we miss you so much. With every celebration this year Daddy and Mommy long to hold you, to share in the delight with you. You were too good for this world, little one. And you will always be our little angel. W know that this Christmas and always we will have your loving spirit close by. We love you so much, son. We long for the day when we can rejoice with you and hold you in our arms again.

Our Corban

Dear Little One,
A lot of things have happened that were unexpected, starting with a doctor appointment the first of this month. You weren't as active as you used to be, so the doctor decided to do a non-stress test. You didn't do so well, so he had Mommy eat and then do the test again. Things looked better after a little while, but the doctor decided the 3-day weekend ahead was too long, so he told Mommy to come in for another test. That Saturday, the 3^rd, Mommy went in and things were looking great. Your little heart was beating at a normal rate and you were moving around just fine.

Two days later though, something had changed. Mommy had noticed that you weren’t moving at all, so she went into the hospital. They gave Mommy and Daddy the hard news that you weren’t going to stay with them as long as they had planned because your little heart wasn’t beating.

After 40 hours of induced labor your Mommy delivered your tired little body into this world. With tears in her eyes, she looked down at your lovely face. Daddy and Mommy were blessed to have a lot of Daddy’s family there with us so that we could all get to hold you for a little while and feel of the peace that came. Your little toes look like Mommy’s and your mouth and nose look a lot like your Daddy’s.

Thanks to UtahShare and Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep volunteers as well as excellent nurses, a wonderful doctor and kind anesthesiologist, Mommy and Daddy can look back on September 7 and remember you.

We miss you so much.

We went home later that week (Friday) after Mommy got much of her strength back thanks to a blood transfusion. Daddy and Grandpa Kent got things in order with Lindquist Mortuary for a small graveside service to be held out at Hooper Cemetery.
On September 17^th, you were laid to rest in a beautiful ceremony. After a family prayer said by your Grandpa Eagar, we all drove out to the cemetery. Since you were so little, Daddy was your only Pallbearer. All of your uncles were Honorary Pallbearers. Your uncle Tony played his guitar and sang Come Thou Fount and then Grandpa Kent dedicated your grave.

Dear friends and family gathered to honor your short time here on earth and to embrace your grieving parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and great-grandparents. Here’s a little poem that Mommy wrote to you:

Our souls were anxious for parenthood,

our arms were ready to hold you, dear Corban;

our hearts already overflowed with love.

We just couldn’t wait for our little son to be born!

We had hours and minutes where others have had years,

but we filled every second with love and memories,

sharing kisses and soft words; we only wiped away happy tears.

We know there is the promise of holding you in the eternities.

Son, you are loved beyond the reach or power of words.

We ache to hold you again and to show you this world,

to share in your delight as you discover its wonder and make wishes,

to hear your laughter, catch your tears and gather your kisses.

But you are an angel now, awaiting that wonderful day

when once again, we are reunited as an eternal family.

You have left handprints on our hearts and hope along the way;

we will never forget you, dearest Corban. Love Daddy & Mommy.