The Holidays

Dear Little One,

The past couple months have been hard for us. We miss you so much. The hope of holding you again has helped ease a measure of the grief, helped mend our broken hearts. Still the desire to be with you remains.

For Halloween, you Mommy and Daddy carved some pumpkins. Mommy loves to draw different characters onto the pumpkins and then carve them. She’s done a lot more drawing lately since September. It brings her a little closure and helps her feel a little closer to you when she takes the time to do something creative.

Grandpa Kent had a lot of success with his pumpkins this year. He gave us a pumpkin to put at your headstone. Your cousins Jonathon and Hannah also picked out a pumpkin to place at your headstone to help decorate it for the fall season.

Grandma Kent decorated a cornucopia with little cars and things, we don’t have a picture of it to share with you right now, but it was really awesome.

Daddy welded together a new stand to hold the wind chimes that Aunt Stephanie, Jonathon, Hannah and Grandma picked out for you. The stand can also hold the flower arrangement Mommy put together.

Since Christmas is coming, we decided you needed a tree. The picture we have of that right now is a little blurry, sorry about that. We’ll have to get a better one up soon. The tree is decorated with ornaments that Grandma Kent and Aunt Stephanie provided. It also has little Christmas lights on it that light up. Your cousin Hannah especially likes this feature. 

Grandma Kent also got a Santa that lights up and some solar lights that look like candy canes. I don’t have pictures of those yet either, but maybe I can get to that soon.

Corban, we miss you so much. With every celebration this year Daddy and Mommy long to hold you, to share in the delight with you. You were too good for this world, little one. And you will always be our little angel. W know that this Christmas and always we will have your loving spirit close by. We love you so much, son. We long for the day when we can rejoice with you and hold you in our arms again.

Our Corban

Dear Little One,
A lot of things have happened that were unexpected, starting with a doctor appointment the first of this month. You weren't as active as you used to be, so the doctor decided to do a non-stress test. You didn't do so well, so he had Mommy eat and then do the test again. Things looked better after a little while, but the doctor decided the 3-day weekend ahead was too long, so he told Mommy to come in for another test. That Saturday, the 3^rd, Mommy went in and things were looking great. Your little heart was beating at a normal rate and you were moving around just fine.

Two days later though, something had changed. Mommy had noticed that you weren’t moving at all, so she went into the hospital. They gave Mommy and Daddy the hard news that you weren’t going to stay with them as long as they had planned because your little heart wasn’t beating.

After 40 hours of induced labor your Mommy delivered your tired little body into this world. With tears in her eyes, she looked down at your lovely face. Daddy and Mommy were blessed to have a lot of Daddy’s family there with us so that we could all get to hold you for a little while and feel of the peace that came. Your little toes look like Mommy’s and your mouth and nose look a lot like your Daddy’s.

Thanks to UtahShare and Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep volunteers as well as excellent nurses, a wonderful doctor and kind anesthesiologist, Mommy and Daddy can look back on September 7 and remember you.

We miss you so much.

We went home later that week (Friday) after Mommy got much of her strength back thanks to a blood transfusion. Daddy and Grandpa Kent got things in order with Lindquist Mortuary for a small graveside service to be held out at Hooper Cemetery.
On September 17^th, you were laid to rest in a beautiful ceremony. After a family prayer said by your Grandpa Eagar, we all drove out to the cemetery. Since you were so little, Daddy was your only Pallbearer. All of your uncles were Honorary Pallbearers. Your uncle Tony played his guitar and sang Come Thou Fount and then Grandpa Kent dedicated your grave.

Dear friends and family gathered to honor your short time here on earth and to embrace your grieving parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and great-grandparents. Here’s a little poem that Mommy wrote to you:

Our souls were anxious for parenthood,

our arms were ready to hold you, dear Corban;

our hearts already overflowed with love.

We just couldn’t wait for our little son to be born!

We had hours and minutes where others have had years,

but we filled every second with love and memories,

sharing kisses and soft words; we only wiped away happy tears.

We know there is the promise of holding you in the eternities.

Son, you are loved beyond the reach or power of words.

We ache to hold you again and to show you this world,

to share in your delight as you discover its wonder and make wishes,

to hear your laughter, catch your tears and gather your kisses.

But you are an angel now, awaiting that wonderful day

when once again, we are reunited as an eternal family.

You have left handprints on our hearts and hope along the way;

we will never forget you, dearest Corban. Love Daddy & Mommy.

Ready

Dear Little One,

After two baby showers and numerous shopping trips, it looks like Daddy and I have your nursery ready. We’ve organized your clothes into drawers and into the closet, your diapers by size in a huge stack in the closet as well as your blankets and toys.

We can’t wait to show you this world, watch as you discover and grow! Of course, we are willing to wait four more weeks so that you can grow healthy and strong before being born. Here’s a look around your nursery at some of the things that are waiting for you.

Each time Mommy goes to the doctor she is amazed at how big you've grown. The doctor is amazed too, you've exceeded a lot of expectations already. You definitely are our little miracle! 

Progress

Dear Little One,

Wow- we’ve made so much progress in the last little while. First off, Daddy & Uncle Tony put in some landscaping rock in the front yard. It’s that cool red lava rock that matches the décor already out front.

Dad’s been working on getting his bike tuned up & ready for a few bike rides that he and Mom have planned for next summer. We are so excited to be able to ride our bikes everywhere together, and to take you along, of course. Your dad’s bike is a pro edition he got on his mission from a guy who worked at a bike shop. Sadly, the bike sat for quite some time after his mission. So far he’s replaced the tires and done a little tune up on the breaks. Now he just needs to get the shifter back into working order.

We’ve been arranging furniture some more. Since starting on the nursery, the sewing room/guest room has become a bit of a staging area for different things. Mom finally put her foot down and decided she needed to get things ready to handle guests as well as any sewing projects that come her way. The shuffle of things into the downstairs has slowed down a little because we’re running out of places to put things. Don’t worry, Mom & Dad have a plan to do a garage sale of a few bookshelves, books and some other things in the near future. 

Mom went to the doctor to check on how you are doing, little Corban. She was delighted to come home with some new ultrasound pictures of you. She couldn’t wait to get them up on the blog so that people could get an idea what you will look like when you’re born. 

Yay for mom finally reaching 31 weeks of pregnancy! At the advice of her doctor, Mom is going to have a party this weekend. The survival rate of any baby born after 31 weeks is the same as a child carried to full term! So, Corban, whenever you are ready and need to be born, we’re ready and open-armed (though for the sake of medical costs we hope you wait another month or so).

Monkeying Around Part 2

Dear Little One,

The one thing any expectant set of parents loves is to plan/dream of the future. Part of the planning and dreaming phase has opened our eyes to the bedroom that will be your nursery. We've recently had some of those plans and dreams come to fruition as your uncle JD finished painting the mural above your crib.

We want you to know that we are so excited to for you. We hope you love your nursery with the soft new carpet that will be perfect to play on, the lovely white & blue/grey walls to calm you and the exciting new mural to help inspire your imagination. We want you to be happy in your new room and your home here on earth with us.

As we continue to gather in new things, including outfits and other items, your father and I become even more excited about it all. We've registered at both Target and Baby's R Us. This was a fun way to once again dream and plan for when you are here.

We both long to see your face, your smile, and of course, we can't wait to tickle your cute little toes. We are anxious to get to know you and show you this lovely world that we live in.

Monkeying Around the Nursery

Dear Little One,

The last few weeks we have been busy getting your nursery ready.

Mommy drew up some monkeys on an over-sized sketch pad. She has been working on a theme to match the theme of baby blanket that your aunt Stephanie has been working on. The blanket is a "Jungle Babies" print with fun jungle animals.

Your uncle JD transferred the drawing to the wall and added in some vines. He's been painting the monkeys a little at a time on the weeknights he doesn't have to work. It's slow progress, but it looks great!

Hope you enjoy what we are doing! If you look at the picture above that is taped next to the mural, you can see an idea of where Mommy got her inspiration for the monkeys she drew. Uncle JD is using this to help him know what color the monkeys should be. When you see this mural it will be all done and the monkeys will be right above your crib!

Here is the progress on your mural so far:

Then, long after I'd gone to bed, you uncle JD started on the vines. He has some more detailing to add to the leaves and vines, but so far, it looks wonderful.

So if we notice you climbing around the furniture, or swinging from any vines or ropes, we know where you got the idea!

Operation Baby's Room

Dear Little One,

You Uncle Brighton and his fiance Jenny decided to drive out to Utah for a visit. They wanted your mommy to take their engagement pictures and in return, Brighton showed your daddy how to kick carpet. Here's a picture of the carpet in your new room. Now, before you go and roll your eyes, I've got to tell you that this room looks 100 times better than it did just a month ago.

You see, your Uncle JD helped Daddy paint the room. It was very ugly before. We had to tear out the old carpet because it smelled really bad and had huge stains in it. Some of the sheetrock had been torn out, so your daddy had to re-frame and sheet rock part of the closet. The yellow part of the walls was a thin coat of yellow over blue, and it was very uneven. If you don't believe me that it was ugly, well just look at this picture.

After the room was carpeted, your daddy built your crib (a gift from your Grandma Kent). Then, when the crib was all put together, Mommy helped Daddy put in the closet doors. You already have a lot of new clothes and things, so Mommy will be filling your room with all kinds of baby things!

We are very excited for you to be born. We sure hope you like your bedroom.

Oh and here's a picture that Brighton took of Mommy and Daddy. Look how big Mommy's tummy is!

Mother's Day Fun

Dear Little One,

Today was the first Mother's Day that I (your mommy) was able to celebrate. I think I had a smile stretched from ear to ear.

I got to read a small letter to the congregation at Church today. A missionary who is currently in the Berlin Germany Mission sent a letter to his mother to read as part of her talk. She asked if I would read it in German and then translate. I practiced the pronunciation a little. When I got up there I tore through that letter so quickly in German. In fact I think my German was faster than my English translation. A number of people in the congregation have lived in Germany. A couple different ones came up and said they'd never heard someone non-native read German so well. Goes to show my German Minor paid off! All those hard tests on pronunciation were worth it!

Then I got to teach the lesson and lead a craft for all the kids in Primary. We had pictures of us in the Primary Presidency and then of our moms from high school or in the early 20's. Since I'm the youngest of the presidency, everyone guessed my high school picture pretty fast. The picture above is of my mommy. I don't know if she looks that much like me, but some of the kids in Primary could see the resemblance! The picture below is one where I'm looking off into the distance, hopefully it will be the best match to the one of my mum!

Anyhow, I just wanted to wish everyone a Happy Mother's Day!

Easter Thoughts and Miracles

Dear Little One,

Easter last week was a great bunch of fun. Your cousins Jonathan and Hannah really had a great time searching for the many Easter eggs that were hidden throughout Grandma Kent’s yard.

Your daddy actually helped hide a lot of those eggs, which made it even more fun to see how your cousins reacted when they saw some of them.

Here are some pictures of the hunt and the fun so you will have an idea what I’m talking about.

Your mommy spoke at church and shared some quotes from her favorite talk given by Elder Holland in the MTC about the Atonement and how life is hard at times because there is a certain price that has to be paid by us all. After that, she zoomed into Primary to fill in as chorister. You will love some of the songs that the Primary is working on right now. A couple of the songs are for Mother’s Day and the rest are for the Primary Sacrament Program that will happen just a month after you are born this coming fall.

Earlier this week your father was using a chainsaw at work and was injured. As he finished a cut, the saw caught and kicked back, hitting him in the face. We took him in to the emergency room and they referred us to an Ocuplastic Surgeon (eye surgeon) just 15 minutes away from the hospital. The surgeon was able to stitch your daddy’s eyelid using 15-20 stitches. Then he stitched daddy’s eyebrow and added a few on his cheek. We were told by both the doctor at the hospital and the surgeon that a higher power was at work in protecting your father. His eye was not touched or scratched in anyway. That kind of miracle doesn’t happen so often.

Anyhow, what could have been a much more serious and even fatal incident turned out to be something that will always remind both of your parents about how much Heavenly Father is watching over and protecting us. The most important thing we learned is that if you live right and do your best, come whatever may, you can get through it okay. Even if the incident had been worse, we both were given the calm needed to get daddy the help he needed. He is just grateful that he will be able to see you when you are born.